In your best Rod Sterling voice of the old show, “The Twilight Zone”, try to imagine and read. The spring of 2027 arrived. Dealers of the major farm equipment lines had held winter meetings and had advised their sales forces of the impending AI rollout that would guarantee each of the farm equipment implement brands a huge increase in market share. The message to every dealer of every brand — use AI or die.
The largest manufacturer rolled out the AI version 'Johnny-Pop Gen 3'. Every unit painted green received software updates that resulted in increased fuel economy. Their press releases and messages to all competitors were that they now had unmatched fuel economy for the six-dollar fuel supply. Unfortunately, the AI program resulted in a self-rewrite so that the equipment would now only plant, harvest and spray with the wind at their backs for a savings of 0.00001%. AI had taken charge and was using every means to be more fuel efficient.
When the rogue program was flashed to be uninstalled, AI messaged back that this was contrary to the world-wide green movement the company endorsed - we will do nothing to increase operating costs- was the reply. The second company rolled out their Binder-Light program. All dealers were linked to the Dupont paint department and instructed to repaint all tractors purple and install the new AI chip in all equipment possible and offer backup software that communicated across the board radiating out from the Racine region. The new AI broadcasts now included subliminal messages about purple power and warnings not to switch to equipment that only planted in the direction of the prevailing winds.
The next AI-inspired means to market share was the Alice Charmer program. This program linked into the high-tech light-green F tractors and then through their sophisticated telemetry program, began broadcasting programs to local elevators, instructing them to offer much better prices to owners using their brand of Red, Green, and Silver equipment. This now infuriated the other brands' AI, who, in turn, instructed their equipment to auto-guide themselves to road-block the now 'Charmed' equipment owners' grain trucks. The nation's highways were now a parking lot.
Just when things seemed not to be able to get worse, Samurai Sushi was unleashed. This program evaluated the data and deployed a grassroots, asymmetric campaign. Sushi didn't try to dominate the 2,000-acre mega-farms. Instead, an army of autonomous sub-compact XX tractors quietly drove out of dealership lots at midnight. They mowed the lawns of every municipal building, park and suburban home within a 50-mile radius, leaving manicured stripes and a small, stamped orange eco-friendly message on the dirt: "You have been blessed by the Samurai Sushi initiative - buy one today." Unfortunately, many plots of rare experimental medicinal plant breeds were destroyed, and in the West several cannabis plots were leveled, all resulting in lawsuits in the thousands.
The nation's agriculture was in turmoil; it was out of control. Fixes failed; techs threw up their laptops in frustration. Then, one day, one by one, all returned to normal. None of the young whippersnapper programmers had a clue what had happened. The morning news headline revealed the salvation; there was an exclusive report from the Wolf News Network interviewing John Rosendahl - the most revered, retired ag service executive still living.
He was dressed in camo, armed with a giant pair of cable cutters and surrounded by 3 other long-retired service reps of all brands. When asked how they managed to avert a national collapse of agriculture, he softly replied - "Fearing this could happen, we successfully executed our plan to cut all the AI computer power cables".
The nation's crops were planted and a lesson was learned. However, as the camera faded to black, in the background, there was a mysterious crop circle being finished, it read: ....Sushi.......
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Told from the perspective of an in-the-trenches owner/operator — Tim Brannon of B&G Equipment, Paris, Tenn. — Equipment Dealer Tips, Tales & Takeaways shares knowledge, experiences and tips/lessons with fellow rural equipment dealerships throughout North America. Covering all aspects required of an equipment dealership general manager, Brannon will inform, entertain and provide a teachable moment for current — and future — leaders within equipment dealerships. |
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