Looking up the term “snakebit” from Dr. Google, one finds the descriptive phrase of having continuous troubles or bad luck. I have used the expression before, as to sales, but that is what literally happened to this old equipment dealer/farmer 4 weeks ago.

I knelt down, wearing shorts, at night, to air up a tire on an old grain cart. When the knee hit the ground, I knew I had contacted a yellow jacket burrow as the stings were painful enough to make one stand up and hit one's head on the buggy. 

I swatted at the area trying not to hit it and hoping to remove the stinger. I moved to the lights of the tractor limping noticeably now, and when in the light, saw a small flap of skin and a wound that was bleeding profusely. 

In fact, my low-cut white sock was now blood-soaked. Upon close inspection, it looked like a half of a bite. I was lucky enough to have been bit by a cross-eyed, no shoulder, that had bad aim; but then it was dark so he/she did fairly well, especially since my knee was probably on its back.  

When I arrived home, my wife—Captain Debo—strongly suggested a trip to the emergency room. Nope, I am old, but strong; I am a man.

It turns out I was also an idiot. 

Multiple trips to the doctor and rounds of antibiotics have resulted in the subsiding of a swollen leg, a huge oozing black spot and possible nerve damage. 

Everyone asks what kind of snake it was. My reply is that we have a hybrid species. It is a cotton-headed, copper-mouthed, coral moccasin, water viper rattler. It is so poisonous that I once saw one bite its own tongue and its hara-kiri was instant.   

After I did something stupid growing up, my dad always asked if there was a teachable moment resulting from my experience. 

I guess the takeaways are one, no matter how strong the desire to show off those 72-year-old legs, wear long pants unless you are on the beach. Two, never assume you have territorial rights, even on your own land, over the habitat of crawly things with fangs. Three, when one's spouse is experienced in the area of one's husband and his accidents, and she screams “we are going to the emergency room”, go with her. Four, there are thousands of light-emitting devices one can purchase to illuminate nighttime activities—get them and use them.  

Finally, a customer asked me if I saw the Spider-Man movie, and if I was exhibiting any super powers after being bit. I took inventory and do think my front incisors are growing and beginning to hinge like fangs.  

My dentist assured me it was just old age symptoms. It is called getting long in the tooth.... While recuperating, until next time—when we might review the election—we are wishing you many non-snakebit sales, profits and miles of smiles. 

Told from the perspective of an in-the-trenches owner/operator — Tim Brannon of B&G Equipment, Paris, Tenn. — Equipment Dealer Tips, Tales & Takeaways shares knowledge, experiences and tips/lessons with fellow rural equipment dealerships throughout North America. Covering all aspects required of an equipment dealership general manager, Brannon will inform, entertain and provide a teachable moment for current — and future — leaders within equipment dealerships.

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